Happy New Year!  I begin the New Year with something that I haven’t done in earlier blogs, sharing with you a method of working towards self-empowerment.  I welcome you to read and try as you see fit and offer me feedback on anything you noticed.  Let’s review part of the last blog for a moment.

EMPOWER YOURSELF!!  Give your ‘normal’ self authority to be confident. Let’s talk about this a little more. Give yourself authority to be confident.  You may say, “Well yes, that’s just common sense.  I’m a confident person.  I get along ok in life with my choices”.  This is true in some circumstances perhaps.  And, my guess is that most folks who read this also have many hang-ups about yourself, chattering in the back of your mind regularly about what you “should do” or “change” about yourself.  This is a ‘normal’ thing of course and it’s also one that is potentially dangerous for your own empowerment.  You see we are living in a day and age where self-empowerment is not the norm.  It is not what mass consciousness thinks about or wants.  Rather, our culture is busy with the latest technology, hearing media that may shed a ‘hair of truth’, but really we are constantly being fed lies about a large number of situations!  In addition to these external misconceptions are our own fallacies that we tell ourselves.  We do not need to allow these mistaken beliefs to overtake us; we have choice in the matter.  We need to trust, support and love ourselves.  Here is a ‘given’ I would like to share with you:  you are trustworthy, supportive and loving!

Many people completely rely on others to ‘make them feel better’.  Our connection with others is one that is indescribable when trust, support and love are there. Relationships with these qualities we seek, honor and are grateful to have; we can depend on others in these situations.

Yet, how many of these relationships are actually in our lives, realistically? And, how often do we spend our time in these situations where trust, support and love are prominent? While preparing for this blog I did a little mathematical equation and scenario I’d like to share with you…

Pretend with me for a brief time…Let’s say you have an adult daughter.  Every time you talk to her she ‘ALWAYS makes you feel better’ no matter the situation.  She lives in Minnesota and you live in Denver, CO. Life is busy for you both, working, home life, weekends, etc…  You talk on the phone once per week for about an hour and see her twice a year for about a week at a time.  You spend about 164 hours per year talking with your daughter either in person or on the phone. Also, you have 3 good friends who you spend an hour with each week, talking and sharing your weekly stories. You also attend a 2-hours weekly social gathering with several of your friends.  Your spouse or significant other… you love each other, but you two are most likely focused on the day-to-day, work, or other circumstances and may or may not take time to talk about the meaningfulness in life, unless there is an absolute emergency situation.  In this scenario, you have about 170 hours of ‘real’ support from others throughout the year…maybe 200 for those wonderful moments you have with your spouse, or significant other…maybe a few more with your coworkers, other friends, family members and your pets…let’s take the number up to about 300 hours, in case I missed anything else.  In one year there are 5840 hours of life when we’re awake (given you sleep 8 hours per night).  The percentage of time you have that is emotionally supportive and makes you feel good while, relying on others:  (300hrs/5840hrs) X 100% = 5%. The time in your own life may be uniquely different so you may want to compute your own mathematical equation, if you’re interested in knowing your percentages, out of curiosity.

Do you want me to teach you how to feel self-empowered? What about the other 95% of the time?  You’re working, doing chores, taking care of life’s tasks or some other activities that are meaningful or meaningless, supportive or unsupportive.

Just by reading these words you are already on your way to self-empowerment…

How do I say this any other way? REALIZE how your time is spent with others, but mostly with yourself…  Are you in meaningful relationships?  Do you love yourself as much as you love others?  Are the hours in your day momentous or are they insignificant?  What kinds of things do you tell yourself when you’re alone?  How do you spend your time when you’re alone?  Are you as kind to yourself as you are to your family and friends?  I can’t answer these questions for you.  I can simply ask the questions.  Only you know the answers.

This next section is not full-proof by any means.  It is also not FDA approved and is not meant to diagnose, treat, or prescribe any sort of authority over you.  If it works great and if not…well hopefully you got a little laugh here and there.

Here are a few days worth of activities to start you on the right track to self-empowerment.  For most effect, commitment to the full 8 days is recommended.  And plan ahead for Day 4 to be a day off or at least a part day off from your busy work schedule.  You may want to begin the program on a Wednesday if you work a Monday-Friday job.

Your Journey to Self-Empowerment:

Day 1: Be yourself the way you usually are, doing what you normally do for today.  Take notes prior to going to bed on things like, what you did today, how you felt when you were doing the things you did, what was meaningful and what wasn’t meaningful.

Day 2: Be yourself again for today.  Take notes prior to going to bed on how things were for you today.  What did you do today, how did you feel when you were doing the things you did?  Did you notice certain thoughts through the day that stuck with you?  What was meaningful and what wasn’t meaningful?  Did you notice your thoughts, your self-talk?

Day 3: Wake up and review your last two nights’ notes during breakfast.  Allow your day to be filled with all of the things you normally do once again today. This is your life and it’s good to pay attention to it.  Take notes.  What happened today that made you happy, sad, fulfilled, unsatisfied??  What did you tell yourself today?  What else did you notice today?

Day 4:  Take a break today.  Go out and do something really special for yourself, something that you don’t normally do, but is always in the back of your mind or heart urging you to do it.  (I don’t mean something related to purchasing large ticket items, like boats, jewelry, clothing…).  Your excuse for not doing whatever this yearning is, usually goes something like “I’m too busy”,  “That’s out of character for me” or “I need to do these other things first”…  You have no time for that excuse today…if you’re still following this journey to self-empowerment, today is your day to have fun!  Enjoy!  At the end of the day before bed, again take notes about what was and wasn’t meaningful and how you felt throughout the day.

Day 5: Allow yourself to just be totally yourself today, doing the things you need and want to do.  Take notes at night prior to going to bed on things like, what you did today, how you felt when you were doing the things you did, what was meaningful and what wasn’t meaningful.  Notice if there is any difference in your thoughts and feelings throughout the day.

Day 6: Allow yourself to be fully you today.  Notice during the day your thoughts, feelings, actions throughout the day.  Take notes at night prior to going to bed on things like, what you did today, how you felt when you were doing the things you did, what was meaningful and what wasn’t meaningful.

Day 7: Today is a big day.  The day is the stop this plan all together after you do this one thing.  Make a conscious decision about the way you are in your life.  You are already deciding on your choices in life on a daily basis.  Today though, is the day to really decide, fully, responsively with full intention.  If you are in any situation that isn’t working for you, today is your day to decide how this will continue to play out in your life.  DECIDE what you are going to do or how you are going to be!!  You may decide that this whole “journey” is silly and that it’s not for you.  Maybe you have no new ideas inside of you right now.  Maybe you have some things that you’ve wanted to do awhile now, and now is the time.  Or this could have been a week where you were simply being mindful of your life, and that is enough.  No matter what the outcome of this journey, you did this for yourself for seven days.  Congratulations for focusing on your own self!

Day 8:  Today is another day in life full of decision-making with consciousness about your choices…Good luck, you are well on your way to mindful living with your own empowering skills!

You may think this is ridiculous and something not worthy of doing.  If so, that’s okay.  Recognize that this is your mind going back to the same ole tricks it plays on you oftentimes.  Your life is already important.  You are already an incredible person, in all of the roles you play in life.  You’ve just been mislead into believing differently, causing you to not believe in yourself.  This exercise is a start to noticing your life using a different method.

Please let me know how it goes.   Happy New Year!

In light and love to you,

Susie